I’ve been waiting to update until I got my pregnancy pictures downloaded. And then my home computer crashed. So, this will be a picture-less update, but if you need a visual of me pregnant, just picture my belly skin stretched and pulled over something the size of a large baby hippopotamus.
I’m 37 weeks today, which means full term! In other words: full bitch-mode.
These last 10 weeks sure have had their ups and downs. The ups include putting the finishing touches on the nursery, having wonderful family throw us a baby shower, seeing our baby in 3D again at 34 weeks, not getting hemorrhoids (as of yet, fingers and legs crossed), and not having to wait until March to get my hands on a Shamrock Shake!
The downs are that every mirror I look into lately is one of those funhouse mirrors where it distorts your image into a supersized and swollen carnival worker. Except those aren’t really funhouse mirrors. They are real mirrors and I am really that puffy. I am THE AMAZINGLY GIANT PREGNANT PUFFY LADY, come watch as I miraculously give birth to a 15 lb. bearded baby.
Carl says I’ve been pretty good through this pregnancy, not too whiny or difficult. Ha. I’d like to think that is true and I am actually a super tough pregnant woman, a pioneer in pleasant pregnant living. In reality, I think he has just been desensitized. Pre-pregnancy, before anything was occupying my womb and taking up precious bowel and bladder real estate, I was already naturally whiny and difficult, so the uptick of hormones and foolishness probably didn’t even register on Carl’s crazy scale. B.T.D.T.
Don’t let him fool you though, because I am a complainer through and through. Just today I fully externally sobbed after I was told I was 1-2cm dilated for the second week in a row. Meaning, I’M GOING TO STAY PREGNANT FOREVER, I JUST KNOW IT!
For old time’s sake, my stats:
How far along? 37 weeks. Only 21 days left. When we realized we have milk that expires after our due date, that’s when we knew this was really happening.
Size of baby: over 6lbs. BabyCenter told me she’s the size of a stalk of swiss chard. Really, BabyCenter? Swiss Chard? That’s the best you could come up with? It took Google to tell me that she’s actually not the size of a block of holey cheese, but some leafy green plant I’ve never heard of before.
Total weight gain: hahahahaha. ha.
Maternity clothes?: maternity everything.
Sleep: not really
Cravings: Anything peppermint or mint, helps to soothe the acid reflux.
Best moment this week: at 36 weeks I was happy to learn I was 1-2cm dilated and 50% effaced, then my hopes and dreams were crushed when I learned that most first time moms can stay like that for weeks and weeks! And then to find out I was still the same at my doctor’s appointment again this week, it just confirmed my fears that she will never ever evacuate my uterus. It’s a fact.
Movement: Yes. I love feeling her move. It never gets old. I never get those painful rib jabs either, so that’s a plus!
Gender: GIRL!
Symptoms: I made it 35 weeks without stretch marks, but alas they are now upon me. Little ones on my side, hopefully they stay put and don’t creep any further.
Belly Button in or out? Still in. It’s shallower now, but I don’t think it’s ever coming out. I had a really deep belly button before I got pregnant, in fact, I was thinking about writing a screenplay about a cave explorer that gets lost in my belly button for 127 hours and has to resort to extreme measures to survive.
What I miss: Bending over. My boobs not resting on my stomach. Sushi. Wine. Being able to wrap a towel around my body. Sleeping in whatever position I want to.
Weekly Wisdom: Don’t buy milk with an expiration date that is past your due date. Because the milk will eventually be gone, and you’ll still be pregnant and sad that you outlasted the milk.
